Road Repair Humorist Gifts

"Instead of filling in all the pot holes, it’d be easier to lower the rest of the road."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

Volkswagen Scandal

'No it's still not fixed'

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'Beware of SUV.'

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

Road work next 15 years.

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'There's nothing romantic about not being able to mend a fuse at your age!'

We're with the gutter cleaning service ….

"Why do they call this 'Traffic Calming' again...?"

"Okay. Hit it."

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"It's important to fix the horn because the brakes don't work..."

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

The ice maker is leaking. Nothing can be done about that now. It's water under the fridge. F and E Plumbing.

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

De-Caf Drivers Right Lane Only

'It keeps sensing disturbances in the Force!'

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.