Road Repair Humorists Gifts

"Don't be silly, the one at the back is a sinkhole, all the rest are potholes."

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

CLEAR!

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

Volkswagen Scandal

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

Road work next 15 years.

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

"Why do they call this 'Traffic Calming' again...?"

"Okay. Hit it."

Man with Stop Signs.

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

"It's important to fix the horn because the brakes don't work..."

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

"Instead of filling in all the pot holes, it’d be easier to lower the rest of the road."

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

De-Caf Drivers Right Lane Only

'Worst chainsaw massacre I've ever seen.'

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.

Tin man visits automotive oil change facility.

Parking? I don't think so.

'See, you misread it - it's void where prohibited by lou!'

"Yes, it does come with a tech package. It's called a battery."

Road Work Ahead

"Lazarus was a whole different deal. This engine is just dead, dead, dead."

"And this model comes with a virtual mother-in-law in the back seat to make it feel authentic."

"It will cost $1,200 to fix that dent...or I could just make an identical dent on the other side for $19.99."