Vehicle Maintenance Humorist Gifts

'Need new suspensions again hey?...'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

Volkswagen Scandal

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

I break for toilet paper

"Whoa - You're gonna need a whole new string!"

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'Beware of SUV.'

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

"Okay. Hit it."

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

Disoriented while talking on his cell phone, Pat made a series of wrong turns in the unfamiliar office park.

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"It's important to fix the horn because the brakes don't work..."

Lucky car.

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

No Hand Signals

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

Penguin emerges from freezer. Man says: 'This freezer needs defrosting.'

"Instead of filling in all the pot holes, it’d be easier to lower the rest of the road."

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.

Tin man visits automotive oil change facility.

Parking? I don't think so.