Car Care Humorist Gifts

'Did you say 39 or 93?'

'It should be changed every 3000 miles? Better change it three times, then.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

Volkswagen Scandal

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Beware of SUV.'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"Okay. Hit it."

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"It's important to fix the horn because the brakes don't work..."

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

No Hand Signals

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

No U-turns

Lucky car.

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.

Tin man visits automotive oil change facility.

'This model runs on antibiotics.'