Car Maintenance Humorist Gifts

"Your German spark plugs won't work in your mini cooper because of Brexit."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

Volkswagen Scandal

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

"Whoa - You're gonna need a whole new string!"

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'Beware of SUV.'

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

"Okay. Hit it."

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

Disoriented while talking on his cell phone, Pat made a series of wrong turns in the unfamiliar office park.

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

Lucky car.

No Hand Signals

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

"It's important to fix the horn because the brakes don't work..."

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

Penguin emerges from freezer. Man says: 'This freezer needs defrosting.'

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

"Instead of filling in all the pot holes, it’d be easier to lower the rest of the road."

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.

Tin man visits automotive oil change facility.

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

Parking? I don't think so.