Car Trouble Comedian Gifts

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

'Are we nearly there yet?'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

CLEAR!

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

Volkswagen Scandal

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

'Beware of SUV.'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"Okay. Hit it."

'How was my emergency stop?'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"It's important to fix the horn because the brakes don't work..."

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

'It doesn't work...'

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

"And hold the mayo."

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.