Car Trouble Comedian Gifts

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

'Are we nearly there yet?'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'Beware of SUV.'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

"Okay. Hit it."

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'How was my emergency stop?'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

"It's important to fix the horn because the brakes don't work..."

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

"And hold the mayo."

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

'It doesn't work...'

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.