Car Comedian Gifts

Bug on the windshield.

"You need orthopedic brake shoes"

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

"Looks a little pricey"

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

Driver's Block

'I don't care what kind of vehicle I get.. as long as it has plenty of cupholders.'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

'You forgot to latch the back door - here comes Binkie.'

'When I said 'topless' I meant the car.'

My other dog is a golden retriever

Warning! Keep your distance. Driver subject to uncontrollable road rage.

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'I found it!'

'Terrible news, boys! - it passed it's MOT'.

'I don't need a computer to tell me I failed to fasten my seat belt or release the emergency brake.'

Let Go and Let God

'I think we'd make better time, dear, if you'd stop less often to stretch your legs.'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'Are we nearly there yet?'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

'I found what was making those funny noises.'

Volkswagen Scandal

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'Beware of SUV.'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

Gas Pedal Sticking?

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.