Car Crash Survivor Humor Gifts

'You call that teaching?'

CLEAR!

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

'Doctor, your road rage patient is here.'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

Artists Impression of the first call for roadside assistance...

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

"Okay. Hit it."

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

'How was my emergency stop?'

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

"I can help you - I'm a para-legal."

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

"And hold the mayo."

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

'It doesn't work...'

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.

Tin man visits automotive oil change facility.

"Of all the vehicles in heaven and you had to rear-end his car?"

"Yes, it does come with a tech package. It's called a battery."

Man crashes his car before leaving the driveway because he forgot his glasses.

Please Don't Ask...

'Oh, no -- not again!'

'Don't get involved.'

Concerto for...head-on crash and orchestra.

"And this model comes with a virtual mother-in-law in the back seat to make it feel authentic."