Traffic-safety Humorist Gifts

Toad roadkill.

Push for Disco...

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

'It's a slow trap.'

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

Give Way To Cyclists

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

"Wanting traffic to slow down, we don't post pothole warning signs."

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

Snail Crossing.

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

Move to Arizona.

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

"Over the speed limit, are you sure?"

"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."

Digital Communication.

Car driver in bus lane: 'But I am a bus driver officer, it's my day off.'

"Where's the red cape, pal?"

Bus Lane - Fire Lane - Pizza Lane

Speed Limit

'There's a delay on the expressway: A truck loaded with peanut butter is spread across three lanes causing a traffic jam.'

Desert crawler sees cactus holding speed camera.

'Ultra High Occupancy Lane, 300 Persons per Car.'

Speed Limit 5 MPH. Enforced by Goats.