Traffic Violation Humorist Gifts

'Faster than the average professional athlete goes bankrupt.'

"Where's the red cape, pal?"

"Over the speed limit, are you sure?"

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'It's a slow trap.'

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

Give Way To Cyclists

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

Toad roadkill.

"The worst mimes are those who pretend to wash your windshield, yet expect to get paid."

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

Snail Crossing.

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

"It was due to ice!. . . Yes, I dropped my popsicle in my lap!"

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

Move to Arizona.

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't pleas insanity.'

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

Brookstick Clamp

"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."

Digital Communication.

Car driver in bus lane: 'But I am a bus driver officer, it's my day off.'

"I don't think we're supposed to taser people who park on double yellow lines."

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

'There's a delay on the expressway: A truck loaded with peanut butter is spread across three lanes causing a traffic jam.'