Parking Violation Humorist Gifts

Clamped hamster wheel.

Brookstick Clamp

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

A Not So Grand Slam.

Give Way To Cyclists

"Okay. Hit it."

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

Car parked illegally has 'divorce attorney on call' sign in window.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

Toad roadkill.

"Over here, doofus."

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

'Professional ice hockey is banning hits to the head...players may now back into each other when leaving the NHL parking lot.'

"It was due to ice!. . . Yes, I dropped my popsicle in my lap!"

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

Move to Arizona.

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't pleas insanity.'

"Over the speed limit, are you sure?"

"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."

Digital Communication.

"Where's the red cape, pal?"

Car driver in bus lane: 'But I am a bus driver officer, it's my day off.'

"I don't think we're supposed to taser people who park on double yellow lines."

'Ultra High Occupancy Lane, 300 Persons per Car.'

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

'Deposit $1.00 - This is your final notice before we send it to a collection agency.'

High-Occupancy Vehicle Lane

"I hate this stop-and-glow traffic."