Parking Regulation Humorist Gifts

Clamped Horse

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

No Double Parking

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

Give Way To Cyclists

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

Spiritualist Society Parking

"Over here, doofus."

St. Lukes Church: Pray and Display

Parking

'Nice parking job, Rudy.'

Brookstick Clamp

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't pleas insanity.'

"Over the speed limit, are you sure?"

"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."

"Where's the red cape, pal?"

"I don't think we're supposed to taser people who park on double yellow lines."

'Why am I not allowed to use this agricultural road, officer? My wife always calls me 'stupid ox''!

'You're in luck. We just got an opening.'

'Faster than the average professional athlete goes bankrupt.'

"Great. He took two spaces. Now where do I park?"

'Surely we'll find a parking space this time around...'

Clamped hamster wheel.

Two hour parking if you see the glass as half full, all others will be ticketed.

Do you know why I pulled you over again?

'I understand that the red light made you angry, but you still have to stop.'

NO double parking...If dbl parking occurs, No triple parking.

"It's the cheapest multi-story carpark in town."

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

Traffic Calming in Bath

"Sorry sir, but if we don't ticket cars parked here longer than two hours, there wouldn't be any room for others to park."

'Here - talk to my lawyer!'