Traffic Law Humorist Gifts

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

'Burl got a ticket for not coming to a full stop at the stop sign at the school crossing.'

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

Give Way To Cyclists

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

'It's a slow trap.'

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

Toad roadkill.

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

"The worst mimes are those who pretend to wash your windshield, yet expect to get paid."

Snail Crossing.

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

"It was due to ice!. . . Yes, I dropped my popsicle in my lap!"

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

'Speeding? Of course I was speeding! I have to make over a billion deliveries in one night!'

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

Move to Arizona.

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

UFO at the traffic lights...

"Over the speed limit, are you sure?"

'I'll do the talking.'

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't pleas insanity.'

"I don't care how it works where you come from....on this planet, the designated driver is the one who 'doesn't' drive!"

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."

Digital Communication.

Car driver in bus lane: 'But I am a bus driver officer, it's my day off.'

'Ultra High Occupancy Lane, 300 Persons per Car.'