Traffic Law Humorist Gifts

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

'Burl got a ticket for not coming to a full stop at the stop sign at the school crossing.'

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

Give Way To Cyclists

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

'It's a slow trap.'

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

Toad roadkill.

Snail Crossing.

"It was due to ice!. . . Yes, I dropped my popsicle in my lap!"

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

"The worst mimes are those who pretend to wash your windshield, yet expect to get paid."

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

'Speeding? Of course I was speeding! I have to make over a billion deliveries in one night!'

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

Move to Arizona.

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

'I'll do the talking.'

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't pleas insanity.'

"Over the speed limit, are you sure?"

"I don't care how it works where you come from....on this planet, the designated driver is the one who 'doesn't' drive!"

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

UFO at the traffic lights...

"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."

Digital Communication.

"Where's the red cape, pal?"

Car driver in bus lane: 'But I am a bus driver officer, it's my day off.'