Traffic Court Humorist Gifts

"It was due to ice!. . . Yes, I dropped my popsicle in my lap!"

Laughing Zone Ahead

Push for Disco...

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

Alabama Traffic Jam

"Life After a Circus Bankruptcy."

'It's a slow trap.'

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

Slow, Men at Work.

Give Way To Cyclists

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

Snail Crossing.

"The worst mimes are those who pretend to wash your windshield, yet expect to get paid."

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

'Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?'

Move to Arizona.

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't pleas insanity.'

'When is everyone else going to be driven off the road?'

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

"Over the speed limit, are you sure?"

'I was stuck in traffic for two hours on the way here, so I have my urine sample ready.'

"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."

Digital Communication.

Car driver in bus lane: 'But I am a bus driver officer, it's my day off.'

'Why do they call it the school RUN Mummy?'