Traffic Violator Humorist Pillows

Stopped by the police.

"Okay, maybe I did run that red light a little. But in my defence, I was too drunk to notice."

Push for Disco...

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

'It's a slow trap.'

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

Give Way To Cyclists

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

Toad roadkill.

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

Snail Crossing.

"It was due to ice!. . . Yes, I dropped my popsicle in my lap!"

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

Move to Arizona.

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

"Over the speed limit, are you sure?"

Brookstick Clamp

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't pleas insanity.'

"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."

Digital Communication.

Car driver in bus lane: 'But I am a bus driver officer, it's my day off.'

Desert crawler sees cactus holding speed camera.

'Ultra High Occupancy Lane, 300 Persons per Car.'

'There's a delay on the expressway: A truck loaded with peanut butter is spread across three lanes causing a traffic jam.'

Bus Lane - Fire Lane - Pizza Lane

Speed Limit 5 MPH. Enforced by Goats.