Traffic Law Comedian T-Shirts

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

Laughing Zone Ahead

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'It's a slow trap.'

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

Give Way To Cyclists

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

Toad roadkill.

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

"It was due to ice!. . . Yes, I dropped my popsicle in my lap!"

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

Snail Crossing.

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

'Speeding? Of course I was speeding! I have to make over a billion deliveries in one night!'

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

Move to Arizona.

"I don't care how it works where you come from....on this planet, the designated driver is the one who 'doesn't' drive!"

"Over the speed limit, are you sure?"

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't pleas insanity.'

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

'When is everyone else going to be driven off the road?'

UFO at the traffic lights...

'I'll do the talking.'

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."

Digital Communication.

"Where's the red cape, pal?"

Car driver in bus lane: 'But I am a bus driver officer, it's my day off.'