Traffic Comedian T-Shirts

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

'There's a delay on the expressway: A truck loaded with peanut butter is spread across three lanes causing a traffic jam.'

'Well, you wanted me to stop at it, so I stopped at it!'

'He's got a point.'

"Hi, can you look in your rear view mirror? I have been giving you the finger."

Push for Disco...

Laughing Zone Ahead

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

Alabama Traffic Jam

'It's a slow trap.'

Slow, Men at Work.

'Don't tell me you weren't speeding back there. When you drove by me, all I could see was a blur.'

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

'I know my husband and there's no point arguing with him about how fast he was going when he's drunk.'

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

Toad roadkill.

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

"The worst mimes are those who pretend to wash your windshield, yet expect to get paid."

Snail Crossing.

How come Mercury gets the car pool lane? He's alone and we've got all these moons!

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

'You were doing the speed limit. I ofund that suspicious.'

'I don't mind a medical but I think that's a bit much!

Move to Arizona.

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

"Over the speed limit, are you sure?"

'When is everyone else going to be driven off the road?'

'I was stuck in traffic for two hours on the way here, so I have my urine sample ready.'

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."