Traffic Humor Gifts

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

'Try to hit something cheap.'

"The worst mimes are those who pretend to wash your windshield, yet expect to get paid."

Laughing Zone Ahead

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'It's a slow trap.'

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

Slow, Men at Work.

Give Way To Cyclists

'Don't tell me you weren't speeding back there. When you drove by me, all I could see was a blur.'

A horse and cart metamorphosing into a snail.

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

"So this is the secret to the start of labour!"

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

How come Mercury gets the car pool lane? He's alone and we've got all these moons!

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

Snail Crossing.

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

'You were doing the speed limit. I ofund that suspicious.'

'I don't mind a medical but I think that's a bit much!

Move to Arizona.

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't pleas insanity.'

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

"Over the speed limit, are you sure?"

Digital Communication.

Car driver in bus lane: 'But I am a bus driver officer, it's my day off.'

"Where's the red cape, pal?"

'There's a delay on the expressway: A truck loaded with peanut butter is spread across three lanes causing a traffic jam.'