Tedium Dodger Gifts

'What I mainly want to get out of this meeting is myself.'

Snooze buttons for cat owners

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"....and hold the garlic."

Private Viewing

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

"I'm very pleased with the way you've handled this thankless boring job, Fenwick...."

Tell me the truth. Do you think my signature is logo-esque?

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

Mary had a little spam

'For sheer elegance you can't beat the black hole entropy formula.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

'Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission.'

"Baldo, I appreciate your hard work...and your eagerness to complete your chores quickly. But next time...don't blow the leaves while I'm painting."

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"

"I have a high tolerance for tedium."

Trying to come up with yet another password...

"Up to now, I feel my childhood experience has been a very positive one! Why spoil it with some silly rules?"

As you like it - Parisians who will never be under police supervision

'You can wake up now, he finished the maze. But next time we'll going back to mice.'

"You say you have a medical malpractice case?"

'You always have an excuse when it's your turn to buy the drinks.'

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

"If you don't want to know the result of the united game then look away now"

'That's why your checkbook balance looks so good. You sent all of your online bills to the junk file.'

"Here's my final exam. My lawyer said I didn't have to answer any of these questions."

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

'The poor lamb's having a rest, Mum, exhausted after putting a new toilet roll on the holder...'

'I thought it was your round.' 'It was, but I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side.'