Tv Dodger Gifts

"Must...not gaze into...his eye! For I may...never break free!"

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

Mary had a little spam

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

"How do I turn off my camera so no one stares?"

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

Trying to come up with yet another password...

'Relax - someone will be looking for us...the Inland Revenue...the T V licence people...'

"I've had custom reading glasses made that blot out the words 'brexit' and 'royal.'"

'We see a lot of carpal tunnel syndrome caused by repetitious pushing of the tv mute button during the political ad season.'

"Get ready to duck...we're caught in a departmental crossfire."

"If you don't want to know the result of the united game then look away now"

'That's why your checkbook balance looks so good. You sent all of your online bills to the junk file.'

"You're suffering from banner blindness."

"I'm binge ignoring everything you're binge watching."

Bob worked hard to avoid the spotlight.

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

Winter depression.

"I'm had a miserable day, so I'd appreciate it if neither of you mention politics, wildfires or COVID."

"So I'm thinking...why bother with all the junk mail?"

"I'm meeting with Thor for drinks. He doesn't zoom.

'I find it's best to just stay out of office politics.'

Cone of Silence

'What's up? Don't tell me they've taken off the football for Corrie?'

"For some plays, the second act is best left shrouded in mystery."

"I like to keep up with all the latest things I don't care about."

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

"What's to prevent some total stranger anywhere on the world from paying my bills."

"We need to shelter him from all news about economic indicators!"

'I found I'm able to maintain my disposition by not watching any economic or employment news.'

'Maybe he doesn't want to know what's going on in the world.'

L-L-L-L-Lobster Face!

"My new year's resolution was to watch less news. Hal's was no news at all."