Media Dodger Gifts

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

Fear of news.

"So, in conclusion, I would like to say that although I haven't actually read the book, I still found it a fascinating and enriching experience.

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

Mary had a little spam

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

Melvin would go to any lengths to get away from McDonald's advertising...

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

'I gained about two hours a day. I gave up the New York Times.'

Trying to come up with yet another password...

"I've had custom reading glasses made that blot out the words 'brexit' and 'royal.'"

'I needed some relief from data overload.'

'You mean that's all you ever read, designer labels?'

"You're suffering from banner blindness."

'That's why your checkbook balance looks so good. You sent all of your online bills to the junk file.'

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

"I'm had a miserable day, so I'd appreciate it if neither of you mention politics, wildfires or COVID."

"So I'm thinking...why bother with all the junk mail?"

"Must...not gaze into...his eye! For I may...never break free!"

"We interrupt this endless stream of mind-numbing adverts to bring you a TV programme..."

Cone of Silence

"We need to shelter him from all news about economic indicators!"

"Bad news...you don't have a deadly disease. You've got to go back to work."

'Great news! Your father's got a job.'

'Maybe he doesn't want to know what's going on in the world.'

'I found I'm able to maintain my disposition by not watching any economic or employment news.'

"What's to prevent some total stranger anywhere on the world from paying my bills."

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."

"Please go to voicemail...please go to voice...Oh Hi...so glad I caught you!"

'He knows every trick in the book. Ironic really as he has never read one in his life!'

"I refuse to read the safety manual. Last time I tried, it gave me a severe papercut!"

"One day Merle decided he had enough of politics."

"We could save money by turning the TV off every time they mention Boris."