Digital Dodgers Gifts

Mary had a little spam

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

'Our gymnasium is being repaired so we played sports games on our computers.'

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

'Pause your games, kids! There's a high fly ball deep to center field!'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'Sorry, Dad. My offensive lineman says I don't have to go to bed yet.'

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

Trying to come up with yet another password...

'I gained about two hours a day. I gave up the New York Times.'

"I've had custom reading glasses made that blot out the words 'brexit' and 'royal.'"

'I needed some relief from data overload.'

"Banking, booking flights, shopping - there's no limit to what he can't do on the internet."

"You're suffering from banner blindness."

'That's why your checkbook balance looks so good. You sent all of your online bills to the junk file.'

"This is definitely the last time for Chapter Seventeen!"

One of the dangers of being new to online banking.

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

'Virtual golf, save pounds'.

"He's in training for the 'E' Olympics."

"I'm had a miserable day, so I'd appreciate it if neither of you mention politics, wildfires or COVID."

"Cool! When I'm dead I want to get uploaded to the cloud, too!"

'That's it, Darlene -- conserve your energy for the final lap! Stay right in her draft!'

"Must...not gaze into...his eye! For I may...never break free!"

Data Entry Marathon

"What's to prevent some total stranger anywhere on the world from paying my bills."

"Play Ball!"

Lost in the laptop...

"We need to shelter him from all news about economic indicators!"

'I found I'm able to maintain my disposition by not watching any economic or employment news.'

'Maybe he doesn't want to know what's going on in the world.'

"Don't get smart with me!"