Digital Dodgers Gifts

Mary had a little spam

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

'Our gymnasium is being repaired so we played sports games on our computers.'

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

'Sorry, Dad. My offensive lineman says I don't have to go to bed yet.'

'Pause your games, kids! There's a high fly ball deep to center field!'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

'I needed some relief from data overload.'

Trying to come up with yet another password...

'I gained about two hours a day. I gave up the New York Times.'

"I've had custom reading glasses made that blot out the words 'brexit' and 'royal.'"

"Banking, booking flights, shopping - there's no limit to what he can't do on the internet."

"You're suffering from banner blindness."

'That's why your checkbook balance looks so good. You sent all of your online bills to the junk file.'

"This is definitely the last time for Chapter Seventeen!"

One of the dangers of being new to online banking.

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

'Virtual golf, save pounds'.

"Cool! When I'm dead I want to get uploaded to the cloud, too!"

'That's it, Darlene -- conserve your energy for the final lap! Stay right in her draft!'

"There! That looks better."

"He's in training for the 'E' Olympics."

"Must...not gaze into...his eye! For I may...never break free!"

"I'm had a miserable day, so I'd appreciate it if neither of you mention politics, wildfires or COVID."

Data Entry Marathon

"What's to prevent some total stranger anywhere on the world from paying my bills."

Lost in the laptop...

"Play Ball!"

Ok, guys. Let's play!!! Sports Camp. Counselor. And by "play" I don't mean

"We need to shelter him from all news about economic indicators!"

'I found I'm able to maintain my disposition by not watching any economic or employment news.'

'Maybe he doesn't want to know what's going on in the world.'