Digital-age Dodgers Gifts

"Does technology frighten you?"

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

Mary had a little spam

Newborns on cell phones

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

Life Extension Journal.

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

'I gained about two hours a day. I gave up the New York Times.'

"Better than a hunting dog - she sniffs out wifi hotspots."

Trying to come up with yet another password...

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

"I've had custom reading glasses made that blot out the words 'brexit' and 'royal.'"

"Dad, that's our new air purifier."

'It's been telling you to blood-let a pint a day? When's the last time you updated that medical app?'

'They start texting so young these days,'

"You're suffering from banner blindness."

The World Will Overheat and End Next Week: Like, will it be on You Tube?

"I taught him how to speak, shake hands and, as you can see, fetch information."

'That's why your checkbook balance looks so good. You sent all of your online bills to the junk file.'

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

"The Real Dot Com."

"I'm had a miserable day, so I'd appreciate it if neither of you mention politics, wildfires or COVID."

"I realize some of your friends have them, but you cannot have a webcam in your room."

Laptop fetching dog.

"What's to prevent some total stranger anywhere on the world from paying my bills."

'He ignores my commands. But he does follow me on Twitter.'

'I found I'm able to maintain my disposition by not watching any economic or employment news.'

'Maybe he doesn't want to know what's going on in the world.'

Other Walks of Shame

"I wonder if the Yankees won... Yes! Crazy I still have service out here."

"We need to shelter him from all news about economic indicators!"

Good morning, sir, Rudy Park, citizen blogger. It's a quiet Sunday morning. Leave me in peace. Interesting. Sounds like you're hiding something! What? Do you owe back taxes? Did you take steroids? Have you filmed a music video with a scantily clad Melania lookalike, like that rapper T.I. did? Did you dress up in some weird animal costume? Was it a giraffe? I will get to the bottom of it!!! Help me out, I've got a self-imposed blogging deadline every six minutes. Sorry, pal. Local man denies besm

"He's the social media member who chooses to remain anonymous."

Hockey and Cell Phones