Digital Age Dinosaur Gifts

"I can't get this stupid computer to work!"

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

I.T. Fear

"Did you get my tweet?"

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

"Trust me, I'm a robot."

"The Internet ate my baby!"

Modern Life Blues

"Wow, these e-readers take forever to burn..."

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

Smith and Hobson: People replacing people with apps and robots since 2009.

Statue of liberty selfie

"I hope you're not reading fake news."

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

"These feelings of yours aren't unusual - in fact, several of them have Web sites."

He still refuses to upgrade.

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

"Don't be a dummy, Justin - You gotta learn your ABC's so you can Google stuff."

"Buy my data $20"

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

Then one day I mistakenly hit "reply all."

Customer help - jargon talking i-diot.

Books On Paper

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

His Master's Data.

The six stages of hard drive death and dying.

'We now feel it's best that baby keeps her security blanket until she's old enough for a cell phone.'

"Mom, he's following me on Facebook. Can I keep him?"