News Dodger Gifts

"Cancel my appointments, I'vestopped watching the news."

"I'm had a miserable day, so I'd appreciate it if neither of you mention politics, wildfires or COVID."

"That sonuvabitch gave up watching the news."

"One day Merle decided he had enough of politics."

'Maybe he doesn't want to know what's going on in the world.'

'We'll just watch the bongs, then turn over.'

'I found I'm able to maintain my disposition by not watching any economic or employment news.'

"Charles finally attained inner peace by ascribing all the world's ills to the 24/7 news cycle."

"We need to shelter him from all news about economic indicators!"

Silent Night

"I've had custom reading glasses made that blot out the words 'brexit' and 'royal.'"

"My new year's resolution was to watch less news. Hal's was no news at all."

"Stop reading the news, you know it doesn't do you any good."

"I'm getting to where I don't even want to watch the news anymore."

"I've decided that I'm going to avoid media coverage about Coronavirus like the plague. . ."

Fear of news.

Mary had a little spam

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

Trying to come up with yet another password...

'I gained about two hours a day. I gave up the New York Times.'

'That's why your checkbook balance looks so good. You sent all of your online bills to the junk file.'

"If you wouldn't book hotels with such great amenities, I wouldn't miss so many seminars."

"If you don't want to know the result of the united game then look away now"

Personnel. The gap in my resume is when I got turned out on my back for six months.

'Look, I'm a goat, not an elephant. I really don't want to debate politics during the game...'

Double-glazing salesman's spiel sends household to sleep.

"This is definitely the last time for Chapter Seventeen!"

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

'...and now to continue our exciting coverage of the election debate.'

'That's it, Darlene -- conserve your energy for the final lap! Stay right in her draft!'

"Slammed the door in your face, huh? Guess she really meant that NO SOLICITORS sign!"