Conversation Dodger Gifts

"Please go to voicemail...please go to voice...Oh Hi...so glad I caught you!"

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."

'I won't be sociable, I won't be ....'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"Any yet he's always on my case."

'Do you get the feeling that, in educational workshops, there are way too many buzzwords thrown around?'

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

Thank You For Not Giving Me Your Views About Brexit

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

"If only you could do this in real life..."

"I've had custom reading glasses made that blot out the words 'brexit' and 'royal.'"

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

"Oh look! Another crappy grant which requires my goddamned work interact with the f**king community!"

"You should have been here at eight!"

'Ms Ferguson, weasel me out of the 315 meeting.'

'I'm sorry, he's in a meeting. would you like his voice mail?'

"Myra's our creative director. She fabricates emergency situations for me when client meetings go on too long."

"If you wouldn't book hotels with such great amenities, I wouldn't miss so many seminars."

"Must be question time again."

'40 years and I never missed a meeting. Oh, I attended a few, but never missed not going to another!'

"Sorry, your meeting's been pushed back...Mr. Smith's only 2,000 from a world record!"

'...and now to continue our exciting coverage of the election debate.'

"I'm had a miserable day, so I'd appreciate it if neither of you mention politics, wildfires or COVID."