Social Interaction Dodger Gifts

"I'm looking for something that will keep people away from me on the subway."

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

"Any yet he's always on my case."

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

"If only you could do this in real life..."

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

"Oh look! Another crappy grant which requires my goddamned work interact with the f**king community!"

"No, Senator, I'm afraid stretching the truth doesn't count as yoga."

"You should have been here at eight!"

'I'm sorry, he's in a meeting. would you like his voice mail?'

'Ms Ferguson, weasel me out of the 315 meeting.'

"Myra's our creative director. She fabricates emergency situations for me when client meetings go on too long."

'Oh, Fred does exercise. He takes frequent walks to the refrigerator.'

'We don't want to give the presentation. We don't know that much stuff.'

It can be bloody hard work to avoid the relatives at Christmas.

"Sorry, your meeting's been pushed back...Mr. Smith's only 2,000 from a world record!"

'40 years and I never missed a meeting. Oh, I attended a few, but never missed not going to another!'

"How's your substitute history teacher, Baldo?"

'How about a bike ride?' 'Nah, the seat hurts my butt, and I'd have to put air in the tires, and I'd have to put shorts on so my pant leg doesn't get caught and...' 'And you'd have to get up.' 'And I'd have to get up.'