Meeting Dodger Gifts

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

'Why do we bother with these board meetings? Nothing ever gets done.'

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

"If only you could do this in real life..."

"You should have been here at eight!"

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Sorry, your meeting's been pushed back...Mr. Smith's only 2,000 from a world record!"

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

"Myra's our creative director. She fabricates emergency situations for me when client meetings go on too long."

'Ms Ferguson, weasel me out of the 315 meeting.'

'Wait a minute! It seems as though he won't be tied up all afternoon after all>'

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

'We don't want to give the presentation. We don't know that much stuff.'

'I'm sorry, he's in a meeting. would you like his voice mail?'

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

'40 years and I never missed a meeting. Oh, I attended a few, but never missed not going to another!'

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

Jenkins won't be here today. He just called in healthy.

"Any yet he's always on my case."

"This is our chance to grab all the left over pastries in the conference room."

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

"We're bears you fool, we don't need agendas!"

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

"How do I turn off my camera so no one stares?"

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

Also I don't like coffee, so I'll be working through my coffee breaks.

"Oh look! Another crappy grant which requires my goddamned work interact with the f**king community!"

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

"If you wouldn't book hotels with such great amenities, I wouldn't miss so many seminars."

'You're going to have to find a way of avoiding those fast serves!'

Personnel. The gap in my resume is when I got turned out on my back for six months.

'No need to put my details in darlin'... You're the girl for me!'