Conversation Dodger T-Shirts

"Please go to voicemail...please go to voice...Oh Hi...so glad I caught you!"

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."

'I won't be sociable, I won't be ....'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"Any yet he's always on my case."

'Do you get the feeling that, in educational workshops, there are way too many buzzwords thrown around?'

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

Jenkins won't be here today. He just called in healthy.

Thank You For Not Giving Me Your Views About Brexit

"If only you could do this in real life..."

"Oh look! Another crappy grant which requires my goddamned work interact with the f**king community!"

"I've had custom reading glasses made that blot out the words 'brexit' and 'royal.'"

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

"You should have been here at eight!"

"Myra's our creative director. She fabricates emergency situations for me when client meetings go on too long."

'Look, I'm a goat, not an elephant. I really don't want to debate politics during the game...'

'I'm sorry, he's in a meeting. would you like his voice mail?'

"If you wouldn't book hotels with such great amenities, I wouldn't miss so many seminars."

Personnel. The gap in my resume is when I got turned out on my back for six months.

'Ms Ferguson, weasel me out of the 315 meeting.'

'40 years and I never missed a meeting. Oh, I attended a few, but never missed not going to another!'

"If that's for me, tell them I'm in a meeting."