Small Talk Dodger T-Shirts

"So I take it you won't be going to the staff Christmas party!"

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

Fear of news.

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

"Any yet he's always on my case."

'Do you get the feeling that, in educational workshops, there are way too many buzzwords thrown around?'

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

Thank You For Not Giving Me Your Views About Brexit

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

Jenkins won't be here today. He just called in healthy.

"I think I'll pass - I'm having a really bad-nose day."

"If only you could do this in real life..."

'I gained about two hours a day. I gave up the New York Times.'

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

"I've had custom reading glasses made that blot out the words 'brexit' and 'royal.'"

"Sorry, I'm afraid he can't come to the phone right now."

"You should have been here at eight!"

"Myra's our creative director. She fabricates emergency situations for me when client meetings go on too long."

"If it's the ice princess, I'm not here."

"If you don't want to know the result of the united game then look away now"

Personnel. The gap in my resume is when I got turned out on my back for six months.

'The person you called may be toying with the olive in her cocktail, please try again later.'

'Ms Ferguson, weasel me out of the 315 meeting.'

'I'm sorry, he's in a meeting. would you like his voice mail?'

'Look, I'm a goat, not an elephant. I really don't want to debate politics during the game...'