Tv License Dodger Gifts

'Relax - someone will be looking for us...the Inland Revenue...the T V licence people...'

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

'Yes, it is last year's hunting license, but I'm only hunting the ones I missed last year.'

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

"Maybe we need to re-visit our 'business casual' policy."

"Just two paragraphs from our internet provider's terms and conditions agreement and she was out like a light."

Revenuers will be shot.

Trying to come up with yet another password...

'We see a lot of carpal tunnel syndrome caused by repetitious pushing of the tv mute button during the political ad season.'

"I'm binge ignoring everything you're binge watching."

'That's why your checkbook balance looks so good. You sent all of your online bills to the junk file.'

"You're suffering from banner blindness."

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

"So I'm thinking...why bother with all the junk mail?"

"Must...not gaze into...his eye! For I may...never break free!"

"Yes, it is an interesting coffee table, isn't it? My husband made it from an old telly we never use."

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

Cone of Silence

"What's to prevent some total stranger anywhere on the world from paying my bills."

Businesspeople gather in bedroom setting 'They can't regulate us in here.'

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

'BBC Phone Poll'

Traffic Court. To be fair, he did pay his ticket.

Don't tax me, bro

"Sorry, this is the Department of Wrong Places. You want the Bureau of Missed Appointments way-y-y-y-y-y-y down the hall."

Kate didn't listen to idle gossip. . . she got her dirty laundry fix at the coin-op.

"He forgot to record the game, so he had to watch it live. The 1,284 commercials was too much for him to handle."

'Try and get it through your head, Parkins. Our clients don't want a CPA who received a medal from the IRS.'

"If it's the reedy, gurgling 'cut-cut-turrrrr' of the long-billed marsh wren, I'm not here."

Spoilers

'It's no wonder they caught me. I got sloppy.'

Extremely Lactose Intolerant

Countless people talk behind my back --- I go to lots of movies.

"I hate calling her—she always picks up."