Regulation Dodger Gifts

Businesspeople gather in bedroom setting 'They can't regulate us in here.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

Scapegoat of the Year

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

'Whatever you do, don't tell them you think you're ready to take on more responsibility!'

'It's been a pretty slow day -- What say we knock off a couple hours early?'

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"With great power comes zero responsibility."

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

'Yes, it is last year's hunting license, but I'm only hunting the ones I missed last year.'

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

"Just two paragraphs from our internet provider's terms and conditions agreement and she was out like a light."

Revenuers will be shot.

"Maybe we need to re-visit our 'business casual' policy."

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

'Relax - someone will be looking for us...the Inland Revenue...the T V licence people...'

I love this age: Old enough to know better, young enough to get away with it. Ketchup.

"Let's go back to the scenario in which none of this is my fault."

"Up to now, I feel my childhood experience has been a very positive one! Why spoil it with some silly rules?"

"If you'd bullshitted your work like the rest of us, you'd be home by now."

"Well, I don't like doing paperwork at the business. I'd rather be watching a ball game. But we all have to do things that we don't want to do! That's part of life."

Not my fault! Not my department! Not my problem! Not my job!

'I am willing to fail... as long as it's not my fault.'

'I'm beginning to enjoy these long walks with you every day.'

"Just you wait 'till your father comes home!"

Why you must get up.

"I've never been in there. Most of my down-time is spent in the Principal's office."

"No, you may not request a change of venue."

Traffic Court. To be fair, he did pay his ticket.