Red Tape Dodger Gifts

"Sorry, this is the Department of Wrong Places. You want the Bureau of Missed Appointments way-y-y-y-y-y-y down the hall."

'Let's not go by the book.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

Quality Control

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'Should be home soon. I'm just clearing away the usual paperwork.'

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

"Providing great customer care is of course important, but shall we start with how you manage forms TG-45S through to NSD-89b."

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

An astronaut sees a sign saying zoning in force.

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

'I hope you have planning permission for that?'

Homework flavored dog food

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"I told my manager that I couldn't cope with the endless mind numbing paperwork. I said I'd had enough of the bureaucracy, that I had to get out."

Distractions: Work Disputes

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

Fed up with unnecessary bureaucracy?...what people don't appreciate is that if they don't fill out their C90D then how can we POSSIBLY know how many C90ds there ARE!

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

'The government is keen not to interfere with private enterprise.'

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to get approval from the offices of Terminology, Evidence, Proof of Demand, Documentation, Measurement and Predictions before I can even think about signing off."

"Before we test this, do you know how to fill out an accident report?"