Routine Dodger Gifts

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

Homework flavored dog food

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"At work, we've switched to video calls for meetings, so my productivity has shot up exponentially. . ."

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

'The homework ate my dog.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

'Roy! Over here! This line is way shorter.'

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

"Instead of taking notes, can I just purchase a transcript of today's lesson?"

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

"Miss Wythenshawe? Can I leave early, my brain is full."

"By the time I count to 10, you'd better be doing your math homework!"

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

'Danae...you seem to spend twice the time and energy in avoiding your schoolwork than it would take to actually do the work...How far do you expect that'll get you in life?'

You know you've been working at the same place too long when you get dusted before the file board

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

'Eat my homework! Come on, Spot, eat my homework! If I turn it in, I won't pass!'

'I won't be at school anymore, my head is full.'

Sometimes Colin found it difficult to get back into the office routine.

Pinocchio's autopsy - "Right about here he started cutting gym class."