Exercise Regime Dodger Gifts

"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

Homework flavored dog food

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"At work, we've switched to video calls for meetings, so my productivity has shot up exponentially. . ."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

'The homework ate my dog.'

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

"Instead of taking notes, can I just purchase a transcript of today's lesson?"

"Miss Wythenshawe? Can I leave early, my brain is full."

"My doctor thinks I should lose weight but everyone at the doughnut shop said she's crazy."

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

"You could try watching your diet or getting more exercise – but you'll just be delaying the inevitable."

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

'Danae...you seem to spend twice the time and energy in avoiding your schoolwork than it would take to actually do the work...How far do you expect that'll get you in life?'

'Eat my homework! Come on, Spot, eat my homework! If I turn it in, I won't pass!'

"Self-distancing from that cake was too much for him!"