Gym Dodgers Gifts

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

HEALTH CLUB, 'It's just a bunch of guys sitting around eating breakfast cereal.'

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

"At work, we've switched to video calls for meetings, so my productivity has shot up exponentially. . ."

"Any yet he's always on my case."

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'Roy! Over here! This line is way shorter.'

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

"If only you could do this in real life..."

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

"Yes, black holes are very interesting, but what has this got to do with you not producing any homework?"

Washing Instructions: Have Your Mom Do It.

Pinocchio's autopsy - "Right about here he started cutting gym class."

"No, Senator, I'm afraid stretching the truth doesn't count as yoga."

"You should have been here at eight!"

"You're not ready for school to start, are you?"

"If you wouldn't book hotels with such great amenities, I wouldn't miss so many seminars."

How caffeine interacts with human brain cells.

'Oh, Fred does exercise. He takes frequent walks to the refrigerator.'

"We also offer a plan where you just post pictures and skip the exercise."

"Myra's our creative director. She fabricates emergency situations for me when client meetings go on too long."

'Ms Ferguson, weasel me out of the 315 meeting.'

'I'm sorry, he's in a meeting. would you like his voice mail?'