Gym Dodger Gifts

'I don't need to go to a gym. One of my classroom management strategies is to circulate frequently around the room. I figure I walk three miles a day.'

Pinocchio's autopsy - "Right about here he started cutting gym class."

"Once. How many times did you go before your gym membership expired?"

"The workout room in my building is closed. At least something good has come out of this pandemic."

"We also offer a plan where you just post pictures and skip the exercise."

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

"I'd go to the gym with you, but I just started listening to this month's Top 10 non-workout songs."

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

How caffeine interacts with human brain cells.

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

Walk right in. Sit right down.

'Is there any way I can keep on all this weight and still enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame?'

Slimming Club: New Members Entry.

"Now doesn't this beat doing those silly exercises?"

"This is my exercise routine, and this is my routine to avoid that exercise routine."

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

Homework flavored dog food

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

A genie helps a man fold laundry.

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

'The homework ate my dog.'

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'