Training Dodger Gifts

"Are you going to this seminar?"

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

Homework flavored dog food

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"Any yet he's always on my case."

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'The homework ate my dog.'

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

"Instead of taking notes, can I just purchase a transcript of today's lesson?"

"Miss Wythenshawe? Can I leave early, my brain is full."