Schoolwork Dodgers Gifts

"Yes, black holes are very interesting, but what has this got to do with you not producing any homework?"

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

Homework flavored dog food

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"At work, we've switched to video calls for meetings, so my productivity has shot up exponentially. . ."

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'The homework ate my dog.'

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

"Instead of taking notes, can I just purchase a transcript of today's lesson?"

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

"Miss Wythenshawe? Can I leave early, my brain is full."

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"

"By the time I count to 10, you'd better be doing your math homework!"

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

'Danae...you seem to spend twice the time and energy in avoiding your schoolwork than it would take to actually do the work...How far do you expect that'll get you in life?'

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."