Schoolwork Dodgers Gifts

"Yes, black holes are very interesting, but what has this got to do with you not producing any homework?"

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

Homework flavored dog food

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"At work, we've switched to video calls for meetings, so my productivity has shot up exponentially. . ."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

'The homework ate my dog.'

Assignments Due. The Russians hacked my homework.

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

"Instead of taking notes, can I just purchase a transcript of today's lesson?"

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

"Miss Wythenshawe? Can I leave early, my brain is full."

'Danae...you seem to spend twice the time and energy in avoiding your schoolwork than it would take to actually do the work...How far do you expect that'll get you in life?'

'Eat my homework! Come on, Spot, eat my homework! If I turn it in, I won't pass!'

'Let's just say, if you were meat, you'd be way past your 'best before' date!'

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

I love this age: Old enough to know better, young enough to get away with it. Ketchup.

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."