School Dodger Gifts

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

Homework flavored dog food

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

"Great! I've finally mastered all my competencies and my teachers still have most of their hair."

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

Also I don't like coffee, so I'll be working through my coffee breaks.

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

'The homework ate my dog.'

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

"Instead of taking notes, can I just purchase a transcript of today's lesson?"

"Miss Wythenshawe? Can I leave early, my brain is full."

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

"By the time I count to 10, you'd better be doing your math homework!"

'Danae...you seem to spend twice the time and energy in avoiding your schoolwork than it would take to actually do the work...How far do you expect that'll get you in life?'

"Yes, black holes are very interesting, but what has this got to do with you not producing any homework?"

'Eat my homework! Come on, Spot, eat my homework! If I turn it in, I won't pass!'

"Oh look! Another crappy grant which requires my goddamned work interact with the f**king community!"

'I won't be at school anymore, my head is full.'

Pinocchio's autopsy - "Right about here he started cutting gym class."