Disciplinary Dodger Gifts

"Sorry, Cruz, I flunked my history test...and now I'm grounded."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

"Are you listening to me?"

"No, you're not getting too old for school."

'Cheer up, Mr. Laping. It's only until the fishing season is over.'

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

'Do you mind? I'm trying to read.'

"If you wouldn't book hotels with such great amenities, I wouldn't miss so many seminars."

'Oh, Fred does exercise. He takes frequent walks to the refrigerator.'

"If you'd bullshitted your work like the rest of us, you'd be home by now."

"I buried my doctoral thesis in an unmarked grave. . . because, ultimately, you never know."

"Up to now, I feel my childhood experience has been a very positive one! Why spoil it with some silly rules?"

"Here's my final exam. My lawyer said I didn't have to answer any of these questions."

"This is crazy! Why can't they give us one e-reader with all our school textbooks already on it? That way...I can ignore just one book instead of this whole stack!"

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

Still going in circles. 'Told you so.'

'I'm beginning to enjoy these long walks with you every day.'

"Now that the person chewing gum so loudly has finally stopped, perhaps we can all pay attention to what I'm doing here."