Discipline Dodger Gifts

Late again. I know it probably looks like that...but actually, I took my lunch break before work.

"Just you wait 'till your father comes home!"

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"I didn't make the Dean's list, but I made the Principal's list."

"I've never been in there. Most of my down-time is spent in the Principal's office."

"Up to now, I feel my childhood experience has been a very positive one! Why spoil it with some silly rules?"

"No, you may not request a change of venue."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"

I love this age: Old enough to know better, young enough to get away with it. Ketchup.

"Do you mind? Look what you made me do!"

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

'Let's just say, if you were meat, you'd be way past your 'best before' date!'

"Are you listening to me?"

Pinocchio's autopsy - "Right about here he started cutting gym class."

"No, Senator, I'm afraid stretching the truth doesn't count as yoga."

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

"No, you're not getting too old for school."

How caffeine interacts with human brain cells.

"This is crazy! Why can't they give us one e-reader with all our school textbooks already on it? That way...I can ignore just one book instead of this whole stack!"