Diligence Dodger Gifts

"If you'd bullshitted your work like the rest of us, you'd be home by now."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

The Devil's in the detail!

How lazy people decide what to eat

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

"Look at her...Gracie is intelligent, optimistic, ambitious..I wish she was one more thing."

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

"Make up your mind - will you or won't you?"

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

"You arrive early, You work hard, You stay focused. What's your game?"

Procrastinator's Leap.

Scientific Research: '...The motto of science is to expect the unexpected...now be quiet. I'm trying to work.'

'Making a To-Do List is on my Bucket List.'

'Forget 'forsaking all others', you can have the week off' (housewife to husband).

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

Bring your dog to work day - let someone else make the big decisions.

"Are you listening to me?"

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

"Yeah, almost didn't make it out of that one."

'We should try harder to behave. We're wearing a rut in this floor.'

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'