Dissertation Dodger Gifts

"I buried my doctoral thesis in an unmarked grave. . . because, ultimately, you never know."

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

Homework flavored dog food

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

Thank You For Not Giving Me Your Views About Brexit

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

Assignments Due. The Russians hacked my homework.

'The homework ate my dog.'

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT

"Instead of taking notes, can I just purchase a transcript of today's lesson?"

"Miss Wythenshawe? Can I leave early, my brain is full."

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

'I needed some relief from data overload.'

'Danae...you seem to spend twice the time and energy in avoiding your schoolwork than it would take to actually do the work...How far do you expect that'll get you in life?'

"By the time I count to 10, you'd better be doing your math homework!"

There's just no excuse for your behavior, Al. I thought it was your job to find one, doctor.

'Eat my homework! Come on, Spot, eat my homework! If I turn it in, I won't pass!'

"Just two paragraphs from our internet provider's terms and conditions agreement and she was out like a light."

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"

'I won't be at school anymore, my head is full.'

'Cheer up, Mr. Laping. It's only until the fishing season is over.'

"Baldo, did you finish your homework?"