Tedium Dodger Pillows

'What I mainly want to get out of this meeting is myself.'

Snooze buttons for cat owners

"....and hold the garlic."

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

Private Viewing

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

"I'm very pleased with the way you've handled this thankless boring job, Fenwick...."

Mary had a little spam

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Tell me the truth. Do you think my signature is logo-esque?

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

'For sheer elegance you can't beat the black hole entropy formula.'

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

'Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission.'

"Baldo, I appreciate your hard work...and your eagerness to complete your chores quickly. But next time...don't blow the leaves while I'm painting."

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"

"I have a high tolerance for tedium."

Trying to come up with yet another password...

As you like it - Parisians who will never be under police supervision

"Here's my final exam. My lawyer said I didn't have to answer any of these questions."

'You can wake up now, he finished the maze. But next time we'll going back to mice.'

'You always have an excuse when it's your turn to buy the drinks.'

"Up to now, I feel my childhood experience has been a very positive one! Why spoil it with some silly rules?"

"You say you have a medical malpractice case?"

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

'That's why your checkbook balance looks so good. You sent all of your online bills to the junk file.'

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

Leaking Art

'The poor lamb's having a rest, Mum, exhausted after putting a new toilet roll on the holder...'

'I thought it was your round.' 'It was, but I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side.'