System Tester Gifts

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

Rust test in progress.

"Your IQ came back negative."

"Stop whinging and man up!" "Our new AI complaints management system still needs a bit of work."

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

"Dog toys are really getting high tech."

It'll never work - you're LED and I'm plasma.

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

"If all you have is a whatchamacallit then every problem looks like a thingamajig."

Product Testing Department

"Before we test this, do you know how to fill out an accident report?"

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

'Actually, we're having trouble finding people to test the damn thing.'

'My ambition is to discover the Great American Loophole.'

'The new helium airbag was a mistake.'

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

Videogame Employment Agency.

He crash tests software.

I'm a seat warmer test dummy.

'They're not like popsickles, Sir. . . they're just too warm and syrupy.'

Crash Test Dummy Funerals.

"She says she's from Quality Control. We've failed the furniture inspection."

"You did very well on your I.Q. test. You're a man of 49 with the intelligence of a man of 53."

'Which' Consumer Testing Whiskies

'Sorry, kid...that's it.'

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"

At the National Whoopee Cushion Testing Facility.

'So how was work, Honey?'

Humpty Dumpty Gets in a Taxi.

'Now I know why this Satnav was going out cheap.'

At the Flip-Flop Quality Control Center.

'You'll have to excuse my date. He's still in beta.'

"If you didn't like your job, you should go into ventriloquism like your brother."

"An example of my game cheat skills is that I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this games tester interview."