Tech-savvy Tester Gifts

I've scheduled a cat scan, but if you're in a hurry, you can try our new U-SCAN.

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"Miss Rogers told me I have a personal 'cloud' to store knowledge in."

"Did you get my tweet?"

Tossing computer into canyon.

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?'

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

"I think someone put Bob on vibrate."

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Our latest technological leap allowed us to automate our full operation, become carbon-neutral, and keep all our employees."

"I can't stand this new hardware. It's much harder than the old hardware."

'The computer is down... you'll have to wait for your hate mail.'

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

Rap-Nav.

Jenkins! Why is it everything in this office is voice-activated except you?

"And this dashboard has all the electronic distractions grouped into one convenient confusion cluster."

"Camera not working."

"I just Googled you and found out your resume is fake!"

"No textbooks. I'm strictly Web-fed."

LOUIE'S GARAGE, 'I can go along with replacing the carburetor and the battery, but what's this $128.43 fcor a 'new warp nacelle'?'

"Stick with CAPS LOCK and SHIFT keys. You are not ready for CONTROL AND COMMAND!"

My fitness tracker said I was dead but I thought I'd better get a second opinion

Frog Family Selfie

Have you considered using email?

I don't want to buy anything. I don't want to upgrade. Watch this! What are you doing? Looking at an ad for the new Mac laptop. My heart's not racing! What's wrong with me?! It is sleek.

"My son, using 'Reply All' is not a sin."

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

'You're getting that office with windows you've always wanted - you'll be working from your cart in the parking lot with a laptop.'

Employee performance review software.

"Would you please refrain from texting while I'm operating!"

'The new helium airbag was a mistake.'

'It says here that machine learning finds fake news with 88% accuracy. I think from now on I really need to edit my reports before I turn them in.'