Tech Tester Gifts

'The new helium airbag was a mistake.'

Jack of all trades

The Computer Bore

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

"It seems as if the people taking my software class are getting younger and younger."

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

Early cyborg.

The Not-So Smart Meter

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"Because webmasters don't take out the trash, that's why"

Congratulations on your retirement!

'I tried to warn him - garbage in, garbage out.'

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

High speed cinder block

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

Battery Lighthouse

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'Well, none of the other options worked, so we installed a power cord on him -- if he starts going haywire again just unplug him and wait 30 seconds.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

Fixing the TV.

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'