Tech Testers Gifts

After his career as a wrestling pro, Hank 'Iron Claw' Hammersmith found a new job at the touchscreen test department.

The Computer Bore

Jack of all trades

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Early cyborg.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

The Not-So Smart Meter

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

Congratulations on your retirement!

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

High speed cinder block

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

Battery Lighthouse

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

Fixing the TV.