Tech-savvy Jester Gifts

"Sorry Rudolf, but we've gone solar."

Don't seize the data on a computer for six weeks. Carpal diem.

I'm sorry, your honor, I'm a little distracted. Would it be okay if I were to continue questioning the witness via cell phone from the hall?

Sorry, you've been replaced by an app.

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

'My computer? - I got rid of it for insubordination!'

"Stick with CAPS LOCK and SHIFT keys. You are not ready for CONTROL AND COMMAND!"

"I think someone put Bob on vibrate."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Mozart on a computer,

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"I haven't the slightest idea who he is. He came bundled with the software."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

"Having our team all work on the same page has been a lot more difficult since our company has gone paperless."

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

Giggle.

>Enter new password: BEEF STEW >Password not stroganoff.

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

Turnkey Totalitarianism

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

Nanopsychiatry.

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

Isn't it cool? I printed out my reply to your raise request using the 3-D printer! NO!

To begin, click on the bread crumb icon.

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."